Rituals of Love

The concept of 'Hugs & Kisses' were viewed indifferently for years many especially in & around the place where i hail from.This includes the whole of south india & am referring to the class of people who existed in the band of middle class, perhaps 2 decades back.When i was a child & if i cribbed or cried by throwing tantrums,either i was pampered by words or i was given some object to be pacified.In the intermediate years that rolled by, a depressing moment was soothed by a caring word by some best buddy or was explained logically as how to handle it by some family member.As i grew up,when a long seen uncle drops by,the excitement is shown only by words & smiling gestures.

Suddenly,in the past few years not too sure if itz jst bcos of TV or our gradual exposure to western culture or bcos of both.We began to express our love & affection by hugs & kisses.By 'we' i meant me & my sibling,friends,colleagues & cousins.And 'we' also gradually began to extend our spontaneous love & affection towards the elders at home, the same way.For example,one fine morning when i just dropped home after a gap of 2 full months,for the first time i hugged mommy to express my deep affection.She was equally or perhaps much more affectionate than me but my hug was not reciprocated with the same passion since her mind instantaneously rejected an alien way of expressing affection.And a kiss on her cheek during my departure was also not received well for the same reason.

But 'we' just like that are able to glue and unglue ourselves be it a hug or a kiss sometimes irrespective of our gender difference(not in all case, i must mention).The only true thing that exist in the mind during those few seconds of gluing are that virgin love& affection and probably what's the best way to express it.Am glad that elders are growing up with us,by gradually appreciating positive rituals of love like a hug or a kiss.Now mommy responds better to our hugs and kisses.And you know there is so much happening physically,chemically and psychologically too.You just got to do it to know what am i emphasising on.But again my dad is still out of this ritualistic circuit.I haven't had anything more than a hand shake with him as a mark of expressing my affection.There is something that blocks me from explaining these wonderful concepts of love rituals to him.But with people of our age,itz almost instantaneous.Just wondering why am i brewing so much about the rituals of love these days.Allow me to share with you the following extracts which possibly should have triggered me,i guess.

' There are different kinds of kisses,as many as the relationships in which they take place and the people who give them:kissing with a look or kissing at a distance or awakening kisses or magical kisses or spontaneous kisses or virtual kisses or passionate kisses or commitment kisses or faked kisses or ardent kisses ... and so on.The most common hugs are good-bye hugs,arrival hugs,re encounter hugs,affectionate hugs,endless hugs,and friendly hugs.Which hugs and kisses would you like to give or receive?who is the person whom you want to hug and kiss right now ?Do you think you could have ever prevented a separation with a timely hug or a kiss?

The purpose of hugs and kisses is to show deep affection or passion or fellowship or friendship or sexual needs or protection or mercy or consolation or wisdom or power or love.What do we feel when we kiss or hug.Excitement or appreciation or selfesteem or safety or approval or contentment or strength or devotion or spirituality or protection or enthusiasm or happiness.Kissing is psychologically related to the most primitive contact in human beings and reminds us subconsciously of all our oral needs such as the need for food,its enjoyment,flavor,what has been wishes for,and what has been rejected-everything to survival.

Practise the art of kissing everyday.Prepare a list of all the people whom you would like to hug or kiss,and the reason for it.Then try to understand why you don't do it on a daily basis in each case.Try to do the same thing every day with all the people on your list.Choose the most appropriate kiss or hug depending on the relationship and degree of closeness.And if you do the above everyday,you will be able to see how the energy of your love can do miracles in your relationships.Now you only have to wait, because hugs and kisses will come to you.'

If you have read till here,this is what i have to say.Mmm ... what an interesting exercise?If you succeed in doing it everyday as suggested above,and if hugs and kisses come your way ,you can bother to tell me also.Am jst waiting to know how foolproof is the exercise.

City of Dawn

'There should be somewhere upon earth a place that no nation could claim as its sole property, a place where all human beings of goodwill, sincere in their aspiration, could live freely as citizens of the world, obeying one single authority, that of the supreme Truth; a place of peace, concord, harmony, where all the fighting instincts of man would be used exclusively to conquer the causes of his suffering and misery, to surmount his weakness and ignorance, to triumph over his limitations and incapacities; a place where the needs of the spirit and the care for progress would get precedence over the satisfaction of desires and passions, the seeking for pleasures and material enjoyments.

In this place, children would be able to grow and develop integrally without losing contact with their soul. Education would be given, not with a view to passing examinations and getting certificates and posts, but for enriching the existing faculties and bringing forth new ones. In this place titles and positions would be supplanted by opportunities to serve and organize. The needs of the body will be provided for equally in the case of each and everyone. In the general organisation intellectual, moral and spiritual superiority will find expression not in the enhancement of the pleasures and powers of life but in the increase of duties and responsibilities.

Artistic beauty in all forms, painting, sculpture, music, literature, will be available equally to all, the opportunity to share in the joys they bring being limited solely by each one's capacities and not by social or financial position.For in this ideal place money would be no more the sovereign lord. Individual merit will have a greater importance than the value due to material wealth and social position. Work would not be there as the means of gaining one's livelihood, it would be the means whereby to express oneself, develop one's capacities and possibilities, while doing at the same time service to the whole group, which on its side would provide for each one's subsistence and for the field of his work.

In brief, it would be a place where the relations among human beings, usually based almost exclusively upon competition and strife, would be replaced by relations of emulation for doing better, for collaboration, relations of real brotherhood.'

What u just read were Mother Mirra's dream about a place on earth.If this was really inspiring,then you should know that such a place exists on earth.Not very far.If u are placed around chennai itz just 12 kms north of Pondicherry via the ECR road.At this location exists this city of dawn - Auroville, it is called.And now the long story short.Auroville is an experimental township meant to be an universal town where people from all countries could live in peace & progressive harmony baring all creeds,politics & their nationalities.The purpose of Auroville is to realize human unity.

I visited this peace palace during my post teen years.Stepping in to auroville,something that has to be noticed in the middle of the town is a really huge golden globe which is called the Matrimandir.It was told that it was conceived by The Mother as 'a symbol of the Divine's answer to man's inspiration for perfection'. Silence is maintained inside Matrimandir to ensure tranquility of space and entire area surrounding the Matrimandir is called Peace area. The Peace area in which the structure is situated is characterized by three main features.Matrimandir itself with its twelve gardens,twelve petals and future lakes, Amphitheater and Banyan Tree.

Inside Matrimandir, a spiraling ramp leads upwards to an air-conditioned chamber polished with white marble - 'A place to find one's consciousness' the well informed say. At its centre, a spherical crystal ball almost the size of a swiss ball is placed in a golden mount.A single ray of sunlight is directed on the globe from the top of structure. According to The Mother, this represents 'a symbol of future realisation'.When there is no sun or after the sunset, the sun ray on the globe is replaced by beam from a solar powered light. The whole chamber receives light just from the reflection of a single ray of sun falling on this huge crystal ball.

Honestly in whatever frame of mind we enter in,there is a sure moment of clarity paving way to realisations on a higher plane followed by some angelic thoughts.If we are deeply engrossed right here during the meditation session at the dusk hour,our mind should open many doors to itself.From the moment we step on the soils of Matrimandir,no one is allowed to talk which we might initially assume to be a disciplinary rule.Breaking this rule will cease us from entering Matrimandir.The guards & volunteers will be watching every person in the queue.In fact this rule makes the whole experience holistic since we tend to talk to ourselves and in course of time to the higher self with in.The crystal ball concept will be truly awe-inspiring for the first timers.

There is much more on auroville, all of which should be explored & enjoyed while at the city of dawn.But as of now here are my final words of wisdom-when the mind floats in silence after the holistic experience inside Matrimandir,there is a general tendency to feel Shall i quit my life to become a part of this sensible world which in turn leads to a common quest in the minds of all the truly absorbed.what it takes to be a true aurovilian?.If this thought dwells in you as well,this is what The Mother has to say

-The first necessity is the inner discovery by which one learns who one really is behind the social, moral, cultural, racial and hereditary appearances. At our inmost centre there is a free being, wide and knowing, who awaits our discovery and who ought to become the acting centre of our being and our life in Auroville.

- One lives in Auroville in order to be free of moral and social conventions; but this liberty must not be a new slavery to the ego, its desires and its ambitions. The fulfilment of desires bars the route to the inner discovery which can only be attained in peace and the transparency of a perfect disinterestedness.

-The Aurovilian must lose the proprietary sense of possession. For our passage in the material world, that which is indispensable to our life and to our action is put at our disposal according to the place we should occupy there. The more conscious our contact is with our inner being, the more exact are the means given.

-Work, even manual work, is an indispensable thing for the inner discovery. If one does not work, if one does not inject his consciousness into matter, the latter will never develop. To let one’s consciousness organise a bit of matter by way of one’s body is very good. To establish order around oneself, helps to bring order within oneself. One should organise life not according to outer, artificial rules, but according to an organised, inner consciousness, because if one allows life to drift without imposing the control of a higher consciousness, life becomes inexpressive and irresolute. It is to waste one’s time in the sense that matter persists without a conscious utilisation.

-The whole earth must prepare itself for the advent of the new species, and Auroville wants to consciously work towards hastening that advent.

-Little by little it will be revealed to us what this new species should be, and meanwhile the best measure to take is to consecrate oneself entirely to the Divine.

A man amidst men

This morning in my local daily I was perusing an article which revealed a specific man's greatness about whom i have read multiple times over years now.He imbibed in me the visual of how ideal can a man actually be.This specific write-up throws light on some extreme loyalty & might sound ridiculously inapplicable in the century that we live.Humourous but mildly thought provoking was this amplified extract on a man amidst men.

' After killing Ravana, Lord Rama is resting on a rock. He notices a shadow approaching him. He realises that the shadow is that of a woman. He does not lift His eyes to see who it is, for, Lord Rama never looks at any woman other than Sita. As the shadow nears Him, Lord Rama pulls His feet up, and sits with His legs folded. This is to avoid even the shadow of the unknown woman touching His feet. So careful is He that none other than His wife should touch Him.

The shadow is then seen to recede. Lord Rama wonders who it is, who had come so close to Him and had yet retreated. So He enquires who the person is.

The shadow is that of Mandodari, and she discloses who she is. Lord Rama asks her why she is there. She says she heard that Ravana was killed in battle. Ravana had been a king who had struck fear in the hearts of his enemies. Everyone believed him to be invincible. And yet, he had been killed by someone. She had come to the battlefield to look at the man who killed her husband. She wanted to know what quality He had that her husband did not have. Lord Rama then asks her whether she found what that quality was. Mandodari says she has found that quality. Lord Rama is particular that even the shadow of a woman other than his wife should not touch Him. Ravana, on the other hand, was willing to sacrifice so many lives in his attempt at making another man's wife his. Therein lies the difference. That one quality of Lord Rama has led to His victory, says Mandodari.

Ravana's sin had been so heinous that he had been slain. There was right on the side of Lord Rama. And He was an exception among men. There may be men outwardly loyal to their wives, but their thoughts may go astray.

Lord Rama was the one whose thoughts and words never went astray. When Sita is lost, and Lord Rama sees Her jewels strewn about, He mentions each piece of jewellery and laments the loss of His wife. To Lord Rama, Sita is irreplaceable.'

Life in a nutshell

Came across this lovely poem named 'Ithaca' written around a centrury back by a greek poet named Constantine P. Cavafy.

As you set out for Ithaka
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
angry Poseidon-don't be afraid of them:
you'll never find the things like that on your way
as long as you keep thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
wild Poseidon-you won't encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you enter harbors you're seeing for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony.
sensual perfume of every kind-
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you're destined for.
But don't hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you're old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you've gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn't have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you'll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

A Mind <-> Body Acquaintance

If you are expecting some deep insights on mind or body wellness here,well I exactly don't promise that.But couldn't find a more appropriate heading for the wholesome experience that I had.The place was B&J clinic,Chennai.Stepping out of the elevator on floor 3,pleasant & a merry mood dissolves the mind almost instantaneously in good melodies that the radio spills.Though occasionally it sounds like maternity ward with some loud cries of nerve twists & muscle triggers,ambience was much pleasant to ask for more.There was an urge to go back everyday to get well soon.Such was the magic of that place, I still believe.It was in destiny to revisit bone,muscle & nerve connections in my body right there,in a whole new feel.Doctor visits,ejection of huge cash in to their treasure boxes,yet no satisfied results.Not uncommon these days,to hear from medically ignorant folks like us.Contrary to all this,I had an holistic experience there replenishing my mind,body & soul in the most simplest way from one of the best hands.

It was day 1.Honestly with no big hopes,I handed my OP card to a physio there.The problem identified was a block of bone needed a fix in to it's original slot which was found displaced mildly.Almost like a lorry off it's track slightly, he simplified.Though not from the medical stream,my knowledge of biology until class12 failed to kick start ,blocking me from visualizing how could this be done on my knee without a cut open kinds.The treatment was to happen for the subsequent weeks until recovery.

The physio got in to action from the very next day.He left me in astonishment each following day,leaving me spell bound watching him passionately fix my bone in it's slot at the same time educating me on the do's & don'ts of this eternally perishable body.I felt remarkable changes from day 3 itself,which is when our conversations began to voice our minds.I have had so many misconceptions about my own body in particular & human body in general in spite of my regular readings on health & fitness.Each day he enlightened me with some amazing actions & adaptations of human body.There is so much to do with the mind than with the body,he made me realise.He taught me the technique of applying mind during a body workout,the results of which were simply mind blowing.He told me once, a workout even with a slight distracted mind can end up targeting the wrong muscle in the body.So he would applaud for simple correct efforts,which was definitely an inspiration at every stage.He confirmed more than half the ortho surgeries happening in the city hospitals can easily be avoided if doctors believe in good physiotherapists.Unfortunately lack of confidence in the existence of good physios in some challenging cases & a strong belief in their own mastered surgical art adds up the count of ortho surgeries happening everyday,he opened up once.

The wish for a quick & steady recovery was more for this physio whose hands worked magic than me as a fearful patient, at times.Everyday he thoroughly enjoyed his play over delicate invisible objects like bones & joints with at most care,serious caution & his inherent passion.He made sure it's just not a physio - patient interaction.He enquired on the where abouts of each person on whom he worked his magic.He said it's a way to connect to his patients to heal them well.In that way our chemistry was just perfect,I felt.

Being open minded,willingness to help people, a sound knowledge in his profession, zest to fix injuries, urge to care with personalized attention & a wish to heal his patients didn't seem like ordinary qualities of this hand picked physio, by god, for my quick recovery.His was a telling tale of an upcoming physio who has a bright & a blessed future awaiting his door steps in the coming years. This three year experienced pro also showed everybody out there ,the way to go.Compliment him,he simply loves to pass on the credit to his co therapists for whom he has great admiration, in a humble self depreciating tone, recalling his journey from a suburb to city,at times.

The therapy employed simple everyday insignificant objects like bags,balls,bands & wands to strengthen & improve a specific part of the body in significant ways.What a stream of science,it made me wonder.Unlike the shabby delicate external wounds,physiotherapy is to do much with invisible internal injuries.Though no blood by sight,bones seem to be their core fight (oh,that's from the awe fully blunt poet inside me).

A world away from all this,being bitten by the herd syndrome for having chosen my profession, finally I was left with no choice but to ignore the benefits of a good conceptual weekly body workout and it's awesome benefits, all these years.My physio elucidated how important an occasional stretch is,what a simple resistant exercise can do,why deep breaths are essential & what sipping water frequently does, in an otherwise mundane,stress built life of a core IT Pro.Recently I read a health quote which said,those who cannot find time for regular fitness,will soon have to find time for illness.My piece of advice to my own self will be, to make time for fitness amidst importantly appearing unimportant activities.Having said that, only I know how difficult it is to find this small measure of time everyday to sync up the mind with body.

A lady about 75 years,whom i befriended while there gave me a piece of advice which was more than a thoughtful timely gift.She walked up to me one day quite cheerfully,with her replaced knees and said,'Remember my young lady,at any time in your life don't ever become flabby,which is the worst struggle against yourself '.Quite true ,for having battled against my flabs myself in the recent past years.In a random attempt I once imbibed, human soul as a complex manifestation of one's mind+body during a life time & beyond.In simplest way,a fit body together with an unclogged mind paves way to a pleasant soul.(No doubt the vice-versa is true as well, which I might rediscover & etch somewhere when I wander as a jobless soul) .Back to life,doesn't matter if you are a physio, a plumber or a programmer,relishing simple earthly joys in the mind, engulfed in one's healthy body is just priceless,I realized.Can there be a more blessing than this ?

Before the treatment ended,he brought my lorry back on track.Finally with my pain relieved & profession revealed, my physio taxed a bill of 6k for the whole bone mending & fixing program.But for having obtained value for every single penny I spent there,I had no regrets.But my physio had a slight sigh & a little big eye on the huge salaries that my entire community of cyber cooleys draw every month.In three fortnights,having spent time closely with my physio & few of his eminent subordinates,I only realised the amount of blessings banked by them for relieving millions of pains over multiple months,though they don't mint little extra money like us.On the contrary,being a couch potato all day long in some wrong body postures,consuming mindless cups of caffeine,building up the good for nothing stress & refusing to take even few deep breaths,I just wondered with all the money banked by us month after month,without much thought & time for either simple pleasures or some long term health & fitness plans,where are we seriously heading to?.I just had one thing to tell my sighing physio 'The grass is always greener on the other side', stretching my quadriceps, pondering the simple mind <->body experience that happened in me during our rendezvous.

Life is calling …

Thud! I slipped on to the floor from my bed on a weekday morning, Just woke upto realize that I had been through a terrible morning mare. It shook me to the core. The only digestible fact left was, it wasn’t a reality. My mind went blank and refused to resume to its normal state for a while.I soon finished all my morning chores and rushed to work. My legs took one step after another without any conscious effort to reach my work place. On the way, I asked myself a question. If just a dream shook me to the core for a while, how do people manage to live with the every day reality horrors in their lives ?My mind gathered various incidents wherein people have had unending list of worries squeezing their heart, bursting their brain and boiling their blood, most of the time. As per my observations the ones topping the list were – unable to maintain healthy relationships with fellow folks,handful of insufficient bucks to satisfy their family’s needs, weird health related complications, fear of the future, bad luck following indefinitely, lack of self confidence for reasons unknown and the list topples down.

Life in today’s world is undoubtedly becoming exceptionally challenging, strange,unpredictable, hectic and some times quite unrewarding too. Haven’t you wished to dump all your stacked worries & wished you could erase them forever just like how the recycle bin on you desktop works. Haven’t you felt sometimes, as if your life was falling in to pieces & you reached no where after a long struggle that came your way, standing solitary not knowing in which direction to head to & on which shoulder to lean on,though you seem to be rocking to others eyes. Have you ever felt like wanting to cry outall your woes and ask for prosperity in life so that you could see what a peaceful & pleasant life is? Ever wished to fall back on earth without any fear, expecting some safe hands to hold you like the one in MetLife ad.Its quite true that at times the loads of life snaps the strings of confidence, rupturing the delicately designed mind. Have you been through this one too?Well you are not alone. Every single person beside you is floating in their own sea of problems, rowing against all possible odds in life, looking for a shore where one could buy some peace for what ever price it demanded, wishing for their long worry list to vanish soon & waiting for the wish list to come true. Wondered why is life not treating you very kindly, at times? And for some, most of the times?I believe if you can take your eyes off from all your problems for a minute and realize profoundly, it’s all an illusion, in a way. Ultimately, you are here, neither to lose anything nor to gain anything, materialistically. Each problem that you face while on earth is only considered to be a learning experience for your maturing soul (the invisible you, which most of us fail to recognize).After all life is only a bridge towards eternity. Why grumble too much when you are just crossing a bridge towards your destination which is yet to reveal itself completely. If you can keep this in mind and shoo away all your insignificant problems in one strong realization, believe me, life is really beautiful …Look at the world that you live with a new bubbling spirit. It will mean much gripping than what you perceived earlier. After all when you visit a south Indian restaurant, have you asked only for plain dosa any time (oops ! this is not to stimulate your hunger pangsright now).Or would you be happy eating only a plain pizza base with no topping ?.’Definitely No’, right ?. It’s the same with life too.With out these illusionary menaces… do you think there would be any value to this complexly architected yet could be simply lived life? Just get going. Explore, learn & imbibe things which you wish to. Trash things which you can’t relate yourself with.Carry a light feeling about life, anytime, because it’s never a harsh game intended to ruin you. Everyday is a celebration if you wish to enjoy the occasion of life.Have you experienced this? When you were extremely happy, enjoying and cherishingevery single moment that passed by ….how time flew with its best possible speed. And on a day when nothing was going your way, how time was passing the buck to its own minutes & seconds, dragging hours like ages.Just wished to share a concept called Muga from a book that I read years back. The book says, it’s the art of practicing to live life by enjoying the present moment without thoughts of the disturbing past or the much anticipated future, all the time. Initially it was difficult. But then slowly when I started, it was quite a rewarding experience to live by the concept.When you feel your shoulders are carrying too many responsibilities, rest them until you feel energized to take them back with zest. When you feel somebody disappointed you badly, let go and learn not to make the same mistake someday when your turn comes.When you feel terribly guilty about something in life, remember that you are not worth gripping it when it had bothered you enough. If you are looking for some inspiration inlife, look at the world to get some. If you still feel tired & worn out, it’s time for you to recharge and energize ASAP.Finally, when I reached my work place, I realized that each day designed to expire with a count of 24 hours, is to be lived like a time framed expiring dream in which nothing stands worth to be psyched out.

Why worry about things that will finally stand apart as insignificant measures in this boundless & timeless universe.Be kind to people around you, however they are. Help as many poor & needy. Strive forthe best without hurting people around. Be in peace with yourself, all the time. Try to get more out of life, everyday & experience the on going magic that weaves your life. Life will definitely pay you back with its rich dividends of kindness, when the right timecomes. Now, don’t you feel Life is calling … Where are you?